Thursday, October 4, 2007

That time I tried to sell a bent spoon on Ebay....

In yet another futile and foolish attempt to gain national fame from making millions off of a seemingly worthless item on Ebay, I tried to sell a spoon that I claimed I bent with my mind. I even spent hours writing up a crazy story to go along with it. Nothing. Oh well, maybe my creative efforts haven't gone to waste completely. I can still post it on here, thereby making my job as blogger that much easier.

What you are bidding on is this spoon I bent with mind. Yes, thats right. A spoon I bent with my mind. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? I think so too.Maybe I'm crazy. I'm not even really sure how it happened. One second I was sitting there eating my cereal, and the next thing I know there is milk and cheerios on my lap. So I cleaned myself up and finished eating. Then It happened. My cat had once again vomited on the carpet. This really annoyed me because just a few days ago I spent two hours cleaning that same carpet of my own vomit. So after I was finished with the carpet I decided it was time to check my email. Nothing interesting, just spam. But then this one email caught my attention. It said "think you have psychic abilities? Click here to find out!11@#43! I thought to myself "I doubt it, and if i did i would have figured it out by now" and exited out of my email. The next thing on my to-do was to empty the dishwater of all the clean dishes and then put the dirty ones in. This is one of my least favorite dish-related activities. *Notice I typed "dishwater" instead of "Dishwasher" You didn't? Look again. Its funny, I didn't even notice the first time I typed it. I must have spaced out or something. I won't change it though, it'll be interesting to see how many people caught that the first time*. Anyway, back to my story. After taking care of the dishes I went for a drive to the grocery store. *At this point you may be wondering how any of this is relevant to the spoon I bent with my mind. Thats ok, don't worry about it. You will understand soon enough.* At the grocery store I picked a really crappy cart which kept veering off to the left whenever I tried to go forward(which was quite often my direction of choice) This resulted in me bumping into a lot things like some drunk guy. When it came time to pay I took out my wallet and noticed a dollar bill on which the face of Jesus had appeared. This freaked me out so I ripped it up and threw it away. What a waste of a dollar. Later I realized it was actually the face of first president George Washington, and not in fact, the face of Jesus as I had originally thought. Definatly a waste of a dollar. On my way home I stopped by taco bell and ordered some kind of burrito and a drink. I had a bit of misfortune, when the cup they provided me with leaked out all of the sprite right after I had poured it in. That upset me a little, but not as much as it upset the lady who had to clean it up. She kept glaring at me with her good eye, while the other one sort of stared at the floor. Then I made a quick trip to the gas station to fill up the tank. Finally, with the burrito leaving a satisfying feeling in my stomach and a full tank of gas, I headed for home. There wasn't much I did after that. I watched some TV, did some arm thrusts, and read one of seven books about a boy wizard. At 8:30pm at night, it was time for bed and one last snack. So, I grabbed a yogurt and a spoon from the fridge and hopped into bed. Then mysterious things started happening. The yogurt I had gotten was with strawberries, but the one I wanted was "mixed berries", which merely contained strawberries along with other berries of a mixed variety. Then, as I was taking a spoonful of yogurt, something started happening to the spoon. It began to heat up and melt in my hand like silly putty. The yogurt slopped onto my pillow, and I was to entranced to notice I had later slept in it. I have no idea how it happened. I guess its just one of those mysteries of life. Thats pretty much the story. Anyway, I don't want this spoon anymore. It really is of no use to me. Its all bent. I washed it though, so its clean. But I somehow bent it with my mind, so it must have some special value to it that no other normally bent spoon has.


Wolfbernz said...

In what fashion is it bent?

How very interesting!

Have a great weekend.

Ps. Your blog is featured on the front page of blogdumps.

Gary said...

Cool! The spoon basically looks like

ablondeblogger said...

ROFL! Loved your story.

I guarantee you...if you made a serious post and seriously said you bent it with your mind, you'd sell it.

I see weird stuff like that all the time and people totally buy that crazy shit! LOL

Creative Writer said...

Hi there

My ex bfriend once tried to sell a chip on ebay. (As In English fish and chips). It was very long you see.

But then someone wrote to him and informed him, they had seen larger chips.

So, it really had no value.


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