Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Yet Another post about not posting

Since no one reads this, I have decided to use this blog more like a personal journal as well as for keeping a record of my bowel movements. This will also be the last time I will be addressing the reader. From now on, I will be typing as if I am speaking to myself. Ok, Gary. I'm not sure why, but for some reason you felt it was necessary to get up at 2:33 am and start typing in a blog that hasn't had any posts in it for months. I know you wanted this blog to be successful, but its kind of late for that now. You gave up on this project a long time ago, when your internet stopped working for a few days and you forgot you had a blog. So? Like I said before, I just want to use this as a journal of sorts, to write stuff down, whether people read it or not. And I'm going to start using a lot more profanity, too. Like "bitch", and "shit" and "fuck" and "assface". Expect to see a lot of those words, especially assface. See? I used it twice already. Assface. Thats three times. Dang...there has been a weird smell following me all day since I used the bathroom. I will have to make note of it, as it may have something to do with my several abnormal bowel movements today. Maybe it isn't me though. We made soup earlier today. Maybe it is giving off a weird shit smell for some reason.Dang.... I hope no one has been secretly shitting in the soup. Fuck.What if this isn't the first time? Oh my god.... We make soup almost every week. How long has this been going on? Bitch. We have all been eating someone's shit soup and didn't even know it. Who could be doing this? Grandma? Hmmm.... I have sometimes suspected her of defecating in other dishes, but not literally though. As in "Grandma, this tastes like crap, did you shit in this?". My mom then? No, she has been ill for quite some time now, and as far as I know, has not taken up shitting in our food as one of her newly found stay-at-home hobbies. My dad then? No. Then it must be a neighbor. A neighbor must have been sneaking into our house and secretly shitting into the soup. Damn. Thats just not cool. Oh well, I don't like soup anyway. Ok, Gary, its almost 3am now. You should really be getting into bed by now. Even your ass is falling asleep.Ok, fine. I'm done with this post. Good night.