An Offer I CAN Refuse

There are a lot of things I like doing. Things that fit with my personality and comfort level. Things that give me that special warm feeling in my stomach. Today I will discuss one activity that most certainly does not fit into that description. This is an activity that some people find rather exciting and enjoyable, and an opportunity that not everyone gets. Can you guess what it is? Or is the suspense finally getting to you? Fine, no more nonsense.
I really don't like scuba diving. It just doesn't appeal to me. First of all, I don't like having to stick that mouth piece into my mouth. Usually it invokes my gag reflex, and along with all the great stuff about experiencing that first breath underwater, there is nothing in the brochure about the exhilarating feeling of the first time you vomit underwater. And then if I manage to hold back my vomit, my jaw gets tired. Its all just very uncomfortable. But thats not the end of it. After doing the whole "introduction" course I say I don't wish to continue. Then I get all this crap that I am passing up a great opportunity that not many people get. And to make matters worse, a friend of my dad's paid for the course, so apparently he wasted his money on me. Where to start here? For one thing, no one f'ing forced him to pay for me. In fact, I expended a lot of effort refusing his offer to do the course. In the end I gave in and he paid over $200 for me. After that I get all this bull that he spent his money on me and I refused to continue with the program. That is his fault! How about this, I pay 50,000 dollars to get him exclusive access to a nude photo shoot of Rosi O'Donnel. And then I give him the same crap that I payed a lot of money and it is not an opportunity that everyone gets. And as far as opportunities go, getting raped by Jerry Springer is not an opportunity everyone gets, but I don't see too many people taking up his offer.
Anyway... thats my rant for today. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 'Till tomorrow, cheers.