Owen Wilson

I won't usually post about other people on a blog about myself, but this is just something that intrigued me. About a month ago we all heard rumors which were later confirmed that Owen Wilson was in the hospital after an attempted suicide. Many stories followed Owen's condition and revealed his inner tortured soul. Well, apparently it was all a publicity stunt for Owen's upcoming movie, called "The Darjeeling Limited", in which Owen plays a suicidal character. It was revealed that the movie would be released as planned without delays. Directer Wes Anderson stated, "That's not what I want and not what Owen wants. Owen's very happy we're releasing it now." He also said "To me it's just a given that your life and the theme of the work is going to intertwine." If only all actors were as devoted to a role as Owen.

Get featured on Fechr

This is a cool site I stumbled upon recently, called fechr.com, pronounced "feature". com. Basically, you get the opportunity to have your blog featured for free on their site for 24 hours. They get a couple hundred visitors per day, so if you get featured you can get some traffic to your site. Its free for now, but eventually they will start charging when they get about 500 or more visitors per day. This is a pretty great idea, and a great way for all you bloggers out there(and me too) to get some exposure. So what are you waiting for? Sign up NOW!

Nothing really new going on. The car seems to be fixed, although it still leaks a tiny bit, which worries me. Hopefully it will stop on its own, or I'll have to go to the mechanics again....What else, oh, we got the neighbor's mail again today. This is getting annoying, every time I have to go over there and give this guy his mail. Oh well, thats how those mailmen work these days I guess.

Zombie!!!

Lots of Random thoughts

• Ugh.. Got the transmission fluid changed in my car recently at the suggestion of the mechanic, now there is transmission fluid leaking all over the place. Every time I go back there , they tell me its residual, clean the leaky area, and reassure me it won't happen again. Are these guys bastards or what?
• I really need a job... but what should I do? I don't want to go the typical route and work at some store as the bag boy. Plus, I put in an applications in a few places, and never got a call back. I saw some ads for movie extras. 100-300 a day, thats pretty good. I think I'd like to try that out. I would kind of stand out though. Maybe they can find a better role for me. I read somewhere that they sometimes look for older people that look younger, so when they play kid roles its not obvious the actors are over 40. Maybe I'll call tomorrow.
  
• Sweet, got a 90 on the first science exam. I checked online today. I am glad I did well, I studied for like an hour. Its funny, the class average is a 66.6. Pretty sad really, it wasn't a hard test. 33 questions, most of them multiple choice and matching. I had another test today, in history. It was a bit of a challenge, 55 multiple choice questions, 5 of them bonus questions. Not sure how many I got wrong, but I know I got all of the bonus questions right. Hopefully I did well.
• I heard about that UF student who got tasered at a question and answer session with John Kerry. Lots of conflicting opinions. Some say he was guilty of being disruptive and resisting police when they asked him to step away from the mic. Others say it was a violation of his right to free speech. Either way, that video was pretty damn hilarious.
• One last thing, I'm pretty disappointed about a voice mail that got deleted. It was a really weird message from some woman. She mentioned something about being alone in a big dark room listening to Michael Jackson. I wanted to put it into my computer but I couldn't figure out how. I just figured out how to do it today, but the message got deleted because it can only stay in the archives for a certain length of time. Oh well... at least the next time I get a weird voice mail I'll know what to do.
  

A little joke

Nothing really I can think of to post about today. So, here is a joke I came up with.

I once knew a Chinese guy who had a tattoo on his shoulder which read "made in china".Unfortunately, he died of led poisoning after playing with himself.

The Writing Process

Writing an essay is not always easy. It takes a lot of time and effort to produce an effective and well written paper. Sometimes, its almost impossible to simply get started with some random ideas. Thats why before I work on any essay or writing assignment,I like to just put a few brainstorm-type-sentences out there and see where it gets me. Even if the start is terrible, I can edit it later, once I have a coherent train of thought going. This is what I am going to do now, for a short essay on the question: "should we obey an immoral law?".

Laws may serve many purposes. Generally, they are put in place to protect the public and keep order within a society. Keeping order within a society, thats important. Otherwise, you would have people doing whatever the crap they wanna do and getting away with it. Like the law against public nudity. Hell, if we didn't have that people would be running around naked left and right. There would be panic and chaos in the streets. Children's eyes would bleed right out of their sockets at the sight of it all. (Insert Thesis statement here)
First, what constitutes an immoral law? It could be a law that seems wrong or unjus..tice league was a pretty cool cartoon. I remember, there was like, Batman, Greenlantern, Superman, Superwoman(or is it wonderwoman?I don't really know) that guy who flashes people, and maybe some others.(Insert some examples, followed by their significance) They used to get into some crazy situations, like this one time a super genius monkey used some kind of mind control device to take control of everyone's minds. But superman showed him what for, he punched right through that monkey head and ripped out his brain, and then ate it. In the subsequent episodes, Superman is shown to have serious heartburn due his consumption of the brain.
In conclusion, if you feel a law is wrong is unjust, you shouldn’t have to obey it. Sometimes it is
important to stand up for what you believe in, because it may make a change for the
better. Rosa Parks disobeyed the law, and as a result helped the movement to end
segregation. The law is the law, but if it imposes on the rights of you or others, would
you just sit by and obey, or would you fight for those rights that everyone deserves?

The Recruiter

I don't really feel like writing anything today, so I'm just going to repost an old favorite piece of mine from my other blog. This is based on true events.

Phone rings

Me: Hello?
Recruiter: Hi, my name is Joe and I'm calling all high school seniors to see what their plans are after high school.
Me: Ok.
Recruiter: .......What do you plan to do after high school?
Me: Uhhh, I wanna be president.
Recruiter: oh, really?
Me: Yeah.
Recruiter: Heh. Well, you know, being president is a tough job. You gotta be pretty smart and know what you are doing.
Me:Uh-huh. I don't quite see where you are going with this.
Recruiter: Hrm...
Me: But before that, I plan on going to college.
Recruiter: Ok. Where are you going to go?
Me: I'm thinking either USF and if not there then a community college.
Recruiter: Ok, cool. What are you going to major in?
Me: Ummm.. that I don't really know. I'm still.. I'm still thinking about that.
Recruiter: Well, what are your interests?
Me: Forks.
Recruiter: .....
Me: I like to make things out of forks. Sometimes I just sit there for hours bending forks and making stuff.
Recruiter: So, you like building things?
Me: No. I like Forks.
Recruiter: Ok. Have you considered the marines? We have many programs and jobs where you can put things together. Your tuition will be covered 100%.
Me: Nah, the marines aren't for me. I've heard some things that happen there. Its really not my for me.
Recruiter : What have you heard?
Me: Well, is it true that many marines become gay from taking all those group showers?
Recruiter: No, of course not. Who told you that?
Me: You say that like being gay is a bad thing. Do you have a problem with gays?
Recruiter: No, I'm just saying what you heard isn't true. You can be gay if you want, I don't have a problem with it.
Me: I'm not... I'm not gay.
Recruiter: I didn't-
Me: When they shave your head, do they.. umm... do you have to shave your naughty parts too?
Recruiter: Your what? No. Thats not a requirement.
Me: Ok.
Recruiter:.....
Me: Did you hear that?
Recruiter: What..
Me: I heard a noise. Like....like and old man choking a cat.
Recruiter: No. I don't hear anything.
Me: hmm... I guess its just me. I hear things sometimes. You know, like that kid who saw dead people? Well, I can hear them.
Recruiter: I see.
*After this he asks me some questions to see if I'm qualified to be a marine. Just some routine questions which I answer normally. Finally we get to the last few minutes of the conversation.
Recruiter: Well, you're qualified.
Me: Ok, but the marines.. its just not for me.
Recruiter: Why not?
Me: Well... I don't tell this to most people but... I have a tail. And... I'm very self concious about that. It's pretty gross. Its like.. like a rats tail. I try to hide it under my pants and it looks like I have an erection from behind.
Recruiter: ......
Me: But umm.. Hey, I'll think about it and.. you know.. if I change my mind I'll give you guys a call or however.. that works.
Recruiter: I can just give you a call in a few months and see what your plans are at that time.
Me: Ok sure. Bye.
Recruiter: Bye.

An Offer I CAN Refuse

There are a lot of things I like doing. Things that fit with my personality and comfort level. Things that give me that special warm feeling in my stomach. Today I will discuss one activity that most certainly does not fit into that description. This is an activity that some people find rather exciting and enjoyable, and an opportunity that not everyone gets. Can you guess what it is? Or is the suspense finally getting to you? Fine, no more nonsense.
I really don't like scuba diving. It just doesn't appeal to me. First of all, I don't like having to stick that mouth piece into my mouth. Usually it invokes my gag reflex, and along with all the great stuff about experiencing that first breath underwater, there is nothing in the brochure about the exhilarating feeling of the first time you vomit underwater. And then if I manage to hold back my vomit, my jaw gets tired. Its all just very uncomfortable. But thats not the end of it. After doing the whole "introduction" course I say I don't wish to continue. Then I get all this crap that I am passing up a great opportunity that not many people get. And to make matters worse, a friend of my dad's paid for the course, so apparently he wasted his money on me. Where to start here? For one thing, no one f'ing forced him to pay for me. In fact, I expended a lot of effort refusing his offer to do the course. In the end I gave in and he paid over $200 for me. After that I get all this bull that he spent his money on me and I refused to continue with the program. That is his fault! How about this, I pay 50,000 dollars to get him exclusive access to a nude photo shoot of Rosi O'Donnel. And then I give him the same crap that I payed a lot of money and it is not an opportunity that everyone gets. And as far as opportunities go, getting raped by Jerry Springer is not an opportunity everyone gets, but I don't see too many people taking up his offer.
Anyway... thats my rant for today. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. 'Till tomorrow, cheers.

Heads

I may or may not have mentioned one of my many hobbies, sculpting. I think I'm getting pretty good at it. Check these out:

A little about myself

Hmmm... Its interesting, how much anonymity the internet can give you. Anyone can say anything, and it can be difficult to find out who that person really is. No one can know for sure who you really are, except the people who actually know you in real life. I can pretend to be anyone I want to be, and no one would ever know. But why be dishonest? Sure I'd be fooling everyone, but what do I gain from this? Pretending to be a millionaire won't make a me a millionaire. Having said that, where do I start? Well, I am around 6ft 1, 170lbs, slightly muscular. Ha, in some fairy-tale dreamland maybe. No, I wouldn't even come close to that description. In reality I am only about 5ft 2, 100lbs. For a typical male, someone around that height would be around 11, maybe 12, right? Most people just by looking at me would never guess I was almost 18. On other significantly short people you can tell their age, because their short stature is due to some obvious medical condition, such as dwarfism. They are short but still look older. For me, it is a little different. As far as I know, I don't have any medical condition, except for maybe a growth hormone deficiency, which I was once tested for but the results came back negative.
This is where things become a little difficult, being constantly mistaken and often times treated like an 11-year old. Everywhere I go I am always treated like a child.At restaurants I am often offered a kids' menu that comes with those little crayons. Oftentimes this offends me, but I do enjoy coloring and it helps pass the time while the adults just sit there. There are lots of other things that make me feel way younger than I should be. My feet are small, for instance, and you know what that means. I have to look for shoes in the childrens' section, amidst all the stupid crying kids who wanted the shoes with those lights on the sides of the sneaker or the ones with the gay cowboys. This also goes for clothing. Sometimes I don't mind the kids' section as much. Its so vibrant and colorful, compared to the boring blacks and grays of the adult section.
Sometimes, being in some places or situations automatically gives me an age minimum. If I go to an R-rated movie, for example, people would assume me to be at least 17( by myself I mean). The same would go for school situations, right? Well, not really. Many people when I was in high school thought I was some 12-year old prodigy who skipped a bunch of grades. This is stereotyping, which I really did not appreciate. Even though it isn't a bad stereotype, I don't like it, just as Asians don't like to be stereotyped as being good at math, and just as blacks don't like to be stereotyped as being good athletes, good dancers, rapists, thiefs, gang members, lazy, liking kfc chicken, etc.
Whew.. That was a lot to say. You pretty much understand the point I am trying to make and my situation. At least I hope so. I know some of what I wrote probably doesn't make much sense. I'll try for that next time. Anyway, this is pretty much it as far as an introduction on myself. I don't really feel like writing anymore because this thing is long enough as it is. So, thats all for now. Cheers.

First Post!

Finally, I am back into blogging. After an incredibly long hiatus, I have decided to give it another try. This time, I am going to try and go in a completely different direction with things. I am going to try and make this blog the best one yet. But in order to accomplish this grand of a task, I need to go back in history and look at some of my previous blog attempts. Lets start with my first failure, "Gary's advice column". Yeah. What an "original" concept that was. Seriously, what the hell was I thinking with that? At first I thought it was going to be great. People would send me emails with their most intimate problems, and I would try and help them out whilst adding my own humorous twist to the situation. Right... Well, the expected hilarity most certainly did not ensue. I thought things started out relatively well. Soon after I created my blog, I got an email from a woman asking what her sister should do with her baby. So, I tried to respond in the best possible manner. In the end it all turned out hilariously bad. Everyone who replied to my post took the situation pretty seriously and completely disregarded my entire well-thought-out response. Then it pretty much ended there. No more emails and I was left with nothing. Discouraging? Yes. Did I learn anything from this? Not really.
Next, we move onto my slightly more successful blog, "aspiring comedian". Yeah, right. Just like the people who call themselves aspiring actors, aspiring singers, and aspiring gynecologists. I can't really keep calling myself that anymore. It just doesn't work. A comedian would be someone who actually goes out and performs in some crap-shack comedy clubs full of drunks and bums. This is certainly not the case with me as I have never performed anything on anyone. I did have some good writing in there, and a few people actually left comments here and there. But I just didn't like the feel of how it was all going. It seemed to be all over the place. Very messy and disorganized. Soon I got tired of it all and just decided to stop. Now, after thinking it all over I have decided to get back into it for my own purposes. I am a college guy now, and as such I need to have proficient writing skills. So, what better way to practice my writing than to do a daily blog? This was kind of the idea behind the other blog, only without all the expectations of instant fame and several book/movie deals. I am not even going to employ that stupid counter this time. Well, this is pretty much it as far as introducing the blog goes. In my next post, going along with the theme of my new blog, I will write a little about myself. Every post after that will also consist of things from my day to day life, instead of just random crap. I think it will work out better in such a format. This way, I won't run out of things to write about because it will be about things that go on in my life. Unless I die, in which case I will no longer have any material to go from and then I am back to square one. Thats all for now, cheers.