Yet Another post about not posting

Since no one reads this, I have decided to use this blog more like a personal journal as well as for keeping a record of my bowel movements. This will also be the last time I will be addressing the reader. From now on, I will be typing as if I am speaking to myself. Starting......now. Ok, Gary. I'm not sure why, but for some reason you felt it was necessary to get up at 2:33 am and start typing in a blog that hasn't had any posts in it for months. I know you wanted this blog to be successful, but its kind of late for that now. You gave up on this project a long time ago, when your internet stopped working for a few days and you forgot you had a blog. So? Like I said before, I just want to use this as a journal of sorts, to write stuff down, whether people read it or not. And I'm going to start using a lot more profanity, too. Like "bitch", and "shit" and "fuck" and "assface". Expect to see a lot of those words, especially assface. See? I used it twice already. Assface. Thats three times. Dang...there has been a weird smell following me all day since I used the bathroom. I will have to make note of it, as it may have something to do with my several abnormal bowel movements today. Maybe it isn't me though. We made soup earlier today. Maybe it is giving off a weird shit smell for some reason.Dang.... I hope no one has been secretly shitting in the soup. Fuck.What if this isn't the first time? Oh my god.... We make soup almost every week. How long has this been going on? Bitch. We have all been eating someone's shit soup and didn't even know it. Who could be doing this? Grandma? Hmmm.... I have sometimes suspected her of defecating in other dishes, but not literally though. As in "Grandma, this tastes like crap, did you shit in this?". My mom then? No, she has been ill for quite some time now, and as far as I know, has not taken up shitting in our food as one of her newly found stay-at-home hobbies. My dad then? No. Then it must be a neighbor. A neighbor must have been sneaking into our house and secretly shitting into the soup. Damn. Thats just not cool. Oh well, I don't like soup anyway. Ok, Gary, its almost 3am now. You should really be getting into bed by now. Even your ass is falling asleep.Ok, fine. I'm done with this post. Good night.

This blog is not dead!.....yet

Heh, I almost forgot this was still here. Well, after a long break I have decided to continue the blog. Its a new year, which.... doesn't really mean soo... yeah. Check back for updates, and check out my live video, most days starting at around 8-9pm Eastern time.

Another one of my awsome comics

Long Face

School Rules the way they should be

School Code of Rules and Regulations

Dress Code:

- Girls- Dressing like a whore or stripper is unacceptable. If any girl is found dressed this way, she will be dealt with privately in the principle’s office.

- School girl outfits are acceptable.

- Fat girls are to be fully clothed at ALL times. Violation of this rule is a level 3 felony and will have to be taken up in court.

- Guys can dress however they want. We don’t really care.

Drugs and Alcohol

• Use of drugs or alcohol on school grounds is prohibited. Any drugs or alcohol confiscated by a teacher are to be disposed of in a trash bin near the teacher’s lounge.
• If you bring one joint to class, you must bring enough to share with everyone. Not doing so will result in a letter sent to the parents requesting that the student not be sent back to school until he/she brings enough for the whole class.
• Chemistry class is not for mixing drinks unless it is for educational purposes only, such as the affects of various types of alcohols on the body. Leftovers may be shared with other teachers. Keep the baking soda clearly labeled as baking soda, so as to not confuse it with crack.
• Any syringes confiscated by a teacher are to be given to the school nurse for proper disposal.

Bullying

• Shut up and get over it. This isn’t kindergarten anymore. If anyone is bullying you, get a gun and shoot his ass.

General Code of Conduct

• Servicing oneself in the hallways is a level 2 felony. Anyone spotted engaging in such an act by a camera will be escorted into a private room by a staff member and may continue under proper supervision and video surveillance.
• Public displays of affection are acceptable only if it is girl on girl.
• Nun jokes are to be told in the presence of nuns. If they think the joke is funny, then it is ok to tell the joke to your classmates. Failure to comply to this rule will result in your name being printed on the “Sinners” list.
• Public displays of anorexia are unacceptable. Eat a sandwich and get your life together.
• Calling someone gay is unacceptable without substantial evidence. Once the evidence is properly examined and the accused is found to be truly gay, you may post his name on the “Sinners” list on the bulletin board in the main hallway.
• Voicing your opinion is prohibited. This is not a democracy. Conform to the rules like everyone else and keep your damn comments to yourself.

Live Broadcast on Monday!

Hey all! I will be doing a live broadcast Monday(nov. 26) at around 3pm EST, so do stop by and check it out. Seriously, it'll be worth it. I'll have jokes, stories, lots of randomness and even a special guest, so don't miss it!

New! I am going to do live broadcasts!

Hey, anyone that is reading this. I am going to try out something new I haven't seen a lot of bloggers do. From time to time I'm going to go live on my webcam, and you can see it right here on my blog, at the top of this page. This is going to be pretty fun to try out. For anyone on the blog now, can you see the video? Also, I'd like some feedback as to what I can do. Right now I have just been talking about a whole bunch of nonsense, really. Hmm... Thats all really, enjoy the live video!

A depressing poem of sorts

I'm not much of a poet, but its 12:25 am right now and I really want to post something compelling and thought-provoking. Something that really represents the human condition. So, here it is.

A Depressing Poem of Sorts

By Gary

I’m so depressed I could beat a cat,

With my metallic baseball bat.

I could walk down the street with pants on my head,

And chew on a piece of poisonous lead.

I’m so depressed I could walk out on my job,

And hang with my friend, “special needs Bob.”

Life means nothing, to me anymore

Because I found out my mom is a whore.